


Covering Callouses with Lace

by Daniverse



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, Maid Cafe, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 12:16:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daniverse/pseuds/Daniverse
Summary: Felix got up and smoothed down his apron, frown ever-present on his face. Because he was an idiot and did whatever Annette asked, he had somehow gotten suckered into working at the Maid Cafe with her and Mercedes part time. He had better things to do, like break each of his fingers or watch paint dry, but the tips from this job were way more than his actual day job paychecks, so he stomached the work. For now. Until someone tried to touch him without paying and he snapped, but until then he would grin and bare it.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 17
Kudos: 161





	Covering Callouses with Lace

"Welcome home, Master!"

Annette greeted a flurry of customers who came into the Blue Lion's Maid Cafe, taking them to their seats. She noted down each of their requests, along with their names, before skipping to the backroom. "Feeeeelix, you've been requested!" 

Felix got up and smoothed down his apron, frown ever-present on his face. Because he was an idiot and did whatever Annette asked, he had somehow gotten suckered into working at the Maid Cafe with her and Mercedes part time. He had better things to do, like break each of his fingers or watch paint dry, but the tips from this job were way more than his actual day job paychecks, so he stomached the work. For now. Until someone tried to touch him without paying and he snapped, but until then he would grin and bare it. 

Mercedes had denoted his position as "Mean Maid", a special, high cost selection where Felix got to be as rude as he wanted and was actually being paid to do so. If it weren't for the dress, this could have been the perfect job. Mercedes had laid out the rules clearly and concisely: no touching unless paid for, swearing is allowed, and food and drinks belong in their respective plates and cups, and not on anyone's head or laps. It was easy enough to follow on most days, unless Sylvain came in. Then all bets were off and Mercedes had to physically hold him back from going apeshit.

His first table was just a group of older men and their significant others, laughing as Felix took their orders and called them names. He had no idea why people enjoyed hearing him call their clothing ugly, their hair greasy, or their face stupid, but people ate it up and came back to personally request him every time. That was another reason he was stuck here: Annette was convinced his regulars would riot if they lost their Mean Maid. Annette, Mercie, and Ingrid all couldn't get quite the same level of unsaturated hatred into their voices, though Felix thought Ingrid could get close. Until then, he didn't hate having to put the maid collar and headband on just to be mean in public. He finished the table and had started to go back, before Mercie stopped him and spun him to spot his most frequent customer walking in.

The customer that came in for him was, as always, Dimitri. Felix grabbed his usual order: a small mocha, a plate of cookies, and a deck of cards. He placed each on a platter and walked with a practiced ease, giving a half assed curtsey as he approached the table. "Back for more, Master Dimitri?" Dimitri blushed at the title despite the fact that it was the damn point of a maid cafe, and gestured to the seat in front of him as Felix set down his order.

"Would you like a cookie today, Felix?"

"I hate sweets."

"Ah, right." Dimitri took the cup and sipped, humming in contentment. "I don't even think about the taste." He snapped half of a cookie and dunked it in his coffee, resting his cheek on his palm and looking at Felix like he was the only person in the world. "Is there anything here you like?" 

Felix shook his head. "Mercedes is working on a spiced cake recipe, but she hasn't finalized it yet." Dimitri nodded and took another bite of the cookie.

"How has your day been?"

"No one has grabbed my ass yet, so I'm managing." Felix spoke in a flat tone, snapping a cookie just for the sake of having something to do with his hands. He couldn't fight the nervousness that welled up in his stomach when Dimitri came in: he was always so nice for no good reason. Dimitri looked hurt for some reason, as if he was offended on Felix's behalf.

"I thought touching was not allowed?"

"It's not. Some people are idiots." Dimitri nodded and took another bite of the cookie. Felix folded his arms and leaned back, hating how the petticoat bunched up around his thighs. Why the hell did they make these clothes so uncomfortable? "You just order the usual today?" 

Dimitri's face turned pink all the way to his ears, mostly covered by his tousled blonde hair. "Actually, Annette informed me you all had a sale today on --"

"Uggggh. You're kidding." Felix's hands went to his face as he groaned audibly, a few other customers turning to face them in confusion. Dimitri shook his head quickly.

"I can tell her to take it off the bill--"

"No, don't bother. It's all right, Master. Let me get your jacket." Felix forgot today was Massage Monday. He got up and Dimitri slipped out of the thick winter coat he always brought in, smelling of various woods and metals. He always smelled so masculine, Annette had told Felix he wasn't allowed to even wear his usual deodorant when he came in: "It ruins the experience when you come in reeking like Sports Deodorant" according to her, but he thought their nasty floral perfumes were infinitely worse.

Felix moved to hang the coat up and felt everyone's eyes on him. It was easy to mistake him as another dainty maid from behind, with his ponytail and lithe frame. Anyone looking for longer than five seconds would quickly notice his shoulders, muscled arms and toned calves that were not present on any of the other maids, save for Ingrid's jacked legs. Felix glared daggers at a few customers as he made his way back to Dimitri.

"So what am I doing."

"Oh I thought just a shoulder rub would be nice …" Felix flexed his fingers, eyeing up the other man's broad frame. This was the first time he had asked for anything other than snacks and a card game, and Felix had never had a chance to really take Dimitri in like this. His fingers made quick work, thumbs pressing hard circles into the space between his shoulder blades. Dimitri sunk into his chair an extra inch and let out a long sigh. "That is quite nice."

"Tell me where you want me to rub, Master." 

"Oh … this is fine. Actually." He undid the first few buttons on his shirt and slipped his shirt down enough to reveal his bare shoulders. "Probably a little easier, hm?" Felix tried not to choke on his tongue as he got back to work. Dimitri's shoulders were finely muscled, likely from some kind of sport or exercise. Annette glanced his way and gave him a thumbs up a toothy grin, only adding to Felix's desire to burst into flames. "You've told me before that you work someplace else, right?" Felix made a noise of agreement, Dimitri letting out a small grunt as Felix dug in deep to work on a particularly stubborn knot.

"Yeah. Real boring shit." Felix worked for the city council in Civil engineering, which was a thankless job but paid his bills on time.

"Of course. And you're here because …?"

"Tips." Maybe someone Sylvain shaped would work in a maid cafe because it meant he was surrounded by beautiful women in costumes, but Felix couldn't care less. All he wanted was to get in, make money, and leave. He let himself fall into the mindless rhythm of moving his hands along Dimitri's upper back and shoulders, mapping out a diagram in his mind. He would slide the side of his palm along the skin, locate a knot, then rub with his thumb or heel to encourage blood flow to the area. Mercedes taught him all the quick fix methods to making his shoulders not feel like he was carrying bricks on his back, which came in handy on days where he had to roll his sleeves up for customers.

Felix gave him a few pats on the back to signal he was done, Dimitri pulling his shirt back up and fussing with the buttons as Felix went back to his seat. 

"That was lovely, Felix. I'll have to remember to come in on Mondays more often." Felix spread his legs under the table and put his arm up on the back of the chair, trying not to make eye contact. 

"I think you need a professional, you're basically made of cement." Dimitri blushed again and laughed, such a gentle and unassuming sound. 

"Oh, I just get stressed easily. My day job is unfortunately not very boring." Dimitri leaned in and investigated Felix's hands, taking the closest one in his and getting a single turn in before Felix yanked his hand back, eyes icy.

"You paid for the massage, that's it." Dimitri's hands flew back and he ducked his head in apology, feeling rather embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Felix. I was just curious to see if your hands were as calloused as they felt." Felix grumbled and shoved his hand under himself, feeling self conscious.

"Yeah. I train a lot." Dimitri seemed to regain some vigor at that, tilting his head to one side.

"At what?"

"A lot. Right now, MMA." Dimitri's eyes widened, eyes sparkling in wonder. 

"Right now? Oh Felix, you must tell me more!" Felix tilted back in the chair, weighing if he 'actually' must tell him more or must tell him to fuck off because his time was up. He shot a cursory glance at the clock and found they were only ten minutes into a thirty minute visit. Felix sighed and drummed his free hand on the back of the chair. Guess that meant it was time to talk about special interests.

"I've been doing competitive sports all my life. MMA is just the easiest for me to get to right now with my current schedule." He held up his fingers as he counted off. "MMA, was kickboxing a month ago, BJJ a few months before that … it depends." Dimitri was positively enraptured, sipping the last of his coffee as he leaned in, as if getting closer meant he could understand better.

"That is so fascinating! I hardly have time for things like that." Felix quirked a brow.

"Your shoulders say otherwise. That's not the body of a couch potato." Dimitri laughed and rolled his shoulders, pushing the hair from his face. 

"Oh, really? I played hockey in college. I used to be on a recreational team when I had Saturdays free, but I haven't had any time at all. Such a shame." Felix refused to admit he was interested in hearing more.

"In what universe does a college have a hockey team." Dimitri barked a laugh and shook his head. 

"Mine did! It was a wonderful experience, I wish I still had the time." Felix leaned back towards the table, his chair hitting the ground with a satisfying knock. He broke another cookie and took a bite, wrinkling his nose at the taste. Still too sweet. Dimitri's eyes seemed focused on his hands, calloused and perpetually reddened at the knuckles. Whenever Felix came in with his hands still wrapped from practice or working out, Mercedes refused to let him leave the break room until he was all cleaned up. It was embarrassing, but no one else really gave a shit about what he looked like. It was, every once in a blue moon, nice to be doted on.

"Cards too, Master? Or am I just your discount masseuse today."

Dimitri turned pink again, covering his face with a hand. "That was all I paid for today, yes. We still have a little time until your next customer, don't we?" He turned to look at the clock, drumming his fingers on the table. "How about we just talk a little more?" Felix folded his arms and glared at the other man.

"Fine. Master." Every time Felix said it, Dimitri had the gall to look so scandalized, as if every single maid in here didn't say the exact same thing. Felix may have been looking for reasons to get annoyed, but he couldn't help but roll his eyes at the display. 

"I would just love to get to know you a little better."

"I basically told you the only things I do. I work out, I work here, I work at the other place. I'm not very interesting." Felix wanted to scratch under his petticoat, but every time he did, he felt Annette's eyes boring into the back of his skull. He had a tattoo on his thigh, which was 'technically' not allowed, but Mercedes just let him wear a longer maid's costume. Thank the Goddess. Annette would tell him that it wasn't very ladylike to show off his massive artwork of a wolf with a blade in its mouth, which he disagreed with but knew he would never win that argument. 

"Well, I think you are very interesting! Am I allowed to know the specifics of what you do --"

"No." The maids weren't allowed to talk about personal lives that could be traced to them outside of the business for obvious reasons: some creep could try to find them, and Felix knew if anyone had tried to hurt or stalk any of the women in here, he would be in prison for murder. He would love to dare a gross patron to find him, but Mercedes said they all had to follow the same rules.

"I assume no maid costume at the other job?"

Felix snorted. "Of course not."

"Do you … like the outfit?" Dimitri was red again, he seemed genuinely shy. It was almost endearing. Felix tried to get angry enough to wipe the thought out of his mind.

"Yes, Master. I wear the outfit because it gets my rocks off -- no, of course I don't like the fucking outfit." As always, a few unknowing customers turned at his crass language, but Felix paid it no mind. Dimitri regained some composure and looked into his eyes, icy blue to burnished amber.

"I think it's very … charming." The blasted man gave such an earnest smile that it made Felix want to throw up on his Mary Janes. "Even if the pay was as good as you say, it would be quite a challenge for me to get into an outfit like that." Felix wanted to make another comment about how there wasn't a maid outfit in the world that could fit over his gargantuan shoulders, but Dimitri got up and went to go get his jacket before he could properly quip at him.

"Thank you for coming by, Master." Dimitri put the jacket on and gave him a shy wave before heading to the front and paying for the meal and his time, Annette constantly making eyes at Felix over the counter. Felix tried not to get too flustered, making his way back to the break room until his services were needed again.

There were only a couple more tables that requested him for the night, but the tips were enough that he was more than satisfied with his haul. Annette, Mercedes, and Ingrid were each sitting around him in the break room, counting and doling out tips to each other. Annette shoved a wad of cash into her purse and looked at Felix with a dangerous twinkle in her eyes.

"I saw Dimitri grab your hand today! That's progress!"

"Annette, please." Felix massaged the bridge of his nose, rolling his own tips up and placing them in his crossbody bag. "I told you, it's not going to happen."

"Happen shmappen! That guy is head over heels for you and you're too stupid to do anything about it!" Annette pointed a manicured finger at his chest, Ingrid and Mercie leaning against one another to watch. 

"Maybe in your fantasy world. Even if he was, I can't do anything about it. That breaks the rules." Felix gestured to Mercedes and Annette whipped her head around, folding her hands in a pleading gesture.

"Mercie, would you let Felix give Master Dimitri his phone number? For love's sake?" Annette made her eyes big and whimpered, Felix groaning and hanging the headband up behind him.

"How many times do I have to tell you, no one is in love -"

"Wellllllll." Mercedes cut him off with a long drawl, a finger to her chin. Felix froze and begged in his mind that she would say no. "If he was very sneaky and I had no idea it was happening, he could probably write a phone number on a napkin and I would never notice! I'm much too busy to look at every old napkin in the cafe." She smiled at Felix, such a sweet and knowing smile that made his bones turn to jelly. "But we know Felix is a very good maid, and would never ever break my rules! Right, Felix?"

Annette looked positively devious, and Felix prayed they were not on the same shift the next time Dimitri came in. He stripped down and changed into his civilian clothes, the girls all going back to their tea and gossip. A phone number on a napkin would be very easy to do, as long as he could drum up the courage to do it. Felix felt his mouth go dry at the thought, already excited to wake up in the morning and train on a sandbag until his hands were numb. He had to beat the feelings out of himself, stop feeling altogether and stop fantasizing about big Hockey Player Dimitri holding him tight and kissing him stupid. Felix had tried to tell himself Dimitri would obviously be straight, but no straight man would come to a maid cafe and request the only male maid every time he came in. It was hopeless, Felix was hopeless.

The next time Dimitri came in, he was holding a little tin, fiddling with it when Felix came to his table with his mocha and cookies. Felix gave his curtsey and sat down, eyes falling on the tin. Honey Badger's Soothing Balm was written in big letters, with a little honey badger on the label. "I used to use this all the time after practice," Dimitri started, giving Felix such a gentle look. "I thought you might like it." Felix took the gift carefully, unscrewing the top and warming it on a finger. It was pungent, smelling sharply of spearmint and eucalyptus. He rubbed some on the back of his red knuckles, eyebrows raising as it warmed and cooled on his skin.

"Is this like an Icy Hot?"

Dimitri nodded, smiling wide. "It has some butters in it that will keep your hands a little softer than Icy Hot does, so I always preferred it. I hated when my skin got leathery from too much practice." He was so sincere, thinking about Felix's red knuckles and calloused palms so much he went and spent money on him at some fancy store and bought him a gift. A gift just for him. Felix, knowing he was bright red, fiddled around in his apron pocket and thrust a crumpled napkin between them. 

"Don't say anything, just take it." Felix refused to make any eye contact, watching as Dimitri unfolded the napkin, scanned the numbers written in hasty Sharpie marker, and nodded. He slipped the napkin into his pocket with a knowing look, and his voice dropped to a whisper.

"Thank you, Felix."

"Of course, Master." Felix knew Annette would have seen everything, he knew he was going to have to deal with her at close, but he couldn't make himself care right now. He was too busy wishing he could die.

Annette had pulled him into a big hug and spun him around, but Felix couldn't do anything but stare at his phone. 

He didn't get a text until late at night, well past close. 

[Unknown Number]: Sorry for the late text!! it's Dimitri. I got caught up at work, and didn't want to interrupt the rest of your shift!  
[Felix]: whatever. don't worry about it.  
[Dimitri]: Do you have a free Sunday any time soon? I would love for you to come by!

Felix blinked at the text in confusion. Come by? He knew Dimitri well enough and figured this was probably an offer of something chaste, like a game of Risk or something. But it was still surprisingly forward. 

[Felix]: sure. this sunday good?  
[Dimitri]: !! Oh yes that would be lovely. I have a roommate, hope you don't mind, he is a bit of a character

Not everyone could be as blessed as Felix and live in a shitty one-bedroom apartment all by themselves. Felix could guess from Dimitri's clothes that he was well off, but didn't know what he did outside of the Maid Cafe.

[Felix]: it's nbd. don't expect me to wait on you in your own home  
[Dimitri]: I would never!! It'll be a nice role change for you ❤️

Felix wanted to crush that little heart into tiny pieces, so he settled for shoving his phone into his pocket and trying to go to bed.

Sunday rolled around, and Felix looked at the address on his phone for the millionth time as he drove into the development, massive homes looming over him. He pulled into the driveway, playing with his rearview mirror to make sure his hair was pulled back neatly and his face looked okay. Normally, Annette put him in "natural makeup" at the cafe, nothing too bold but enough to make his face all one color. He was loathe to admit he didn't mind the attention, but it left him feeling self conscious now that he was going to someone's home without it. He got out of his car and shoved his hands into the pockets of his track pants, sleek and gathered at the ankle. He looked fine, he knew he looked fine, but he couldn't shake the nervous feelings in his stomach. 

He had, with little pomp or circumstance, agreed to meet with a customer in their house. Alone. Well, not alone, Dimitri had some roommate that was worth warning him about. Felix knew he could take care of himself, but this probably was a bad idea. A bad idea that he had eagerly agreed to, but a bad idea nonetheless. He walked up and knocked on the door, hoping he wouldn't be greeted by a serial killer with a gun.

Dimitri opened the door, offering a beaming smile as he welcomed Felix in. He was wearing a simple button down and dark wash jeans, lacking the thick winter coat he always had on at the cafe. Felix entered, slipping his shoes off and looking around. The place was massive, he could probably fit at least three of his apartments into the house. "Nice place you got here." Felix threw his jacket over his shoulder, Dimitri bringing them to the living room. 

"Thank you! It helps that I have a roommate, and no one to spend money on." He laughed to himself, clearly just as nervous as Felix was. He was fumbling with his hands, holding them between his knees as he looked at Felix with a strong gaze of admiration. "I am a terrible cook, so I figured we could just order something. What would you like?" Felix leaned back in the plush couch he had been ushered to, his mind scanning for food options.

"Do you have an Indian place around here?"

"Yes!" Dimitri exclaimed, pulling out his phone. "What would you like?" Felix gave him his order, well rehearsed at this point. He liked a Butter chicken, Indian Hot, and an order of garlic naan. Dimitri punched it in, looking up as loud steps bounded down the stairs.

"Oooh, did someone say Indian food?" Felix gripped the couch so hard his knuckles went white as a familiar head of red hair ducked down to greet them. Sylvain. The two locked eyes and Dimitri seemed to be blissfully, stupidly unaware of the previous encounters the two had.

Sylvain Jose Gautier. Head of Marketing at Gautier Real Estate, banned from Blue Lions Maid Cafe for the rest of his stupid life. He had made countless propositions to every maid who had ever worked at the cafe, including Felix, and Felix had almost beaten him to a bloody pulp before Ingrid and Annette finally ripped the two apart. Sylvain had fought back, but Felix had been the victor that night. Sylvain, a man with no self preservation, walked right over and looked from Dimitri to Felix.

"Since when do you bring guys home, Dima? Especially scrappy ones like Felix over here." He looked back at Felix and threw him a wink, which earned him a snarl. "Hey babe, didn't recognize you without the dress on. It's been, what, six months?"

"I would hold your tongue before I rip it out, Gautier." Sylvain, the world's biggest idiot, sat down right next to him and placed a hand on his leg. Felix snatched up one of his fingers and bent it back too far, causing Sylvain to wince and pull back with little success.

"Mercie is not here to protect you." Sylvain had no idea whether he meant Mercedes or the concept of Mercy itself, and did not care to argue.

"Okay, fine, ow ow." Felix released him and looked back at Dimitri, who looked positively horrified.

"You two … know each other?" 

Sylvain leaned in and looked rather devilish, tapping on Dimitri's knee. "Oh yeah. I used to go to the Maid Cafe all the time before I got banned." Sylvain looked between the two, doing mental math in his head. "Wait a minute. Dima, are you- you go to the maid cafe? How the hell do you know Felix?"

Dimitri sputtered and Felix turned cold, folding his arms and facing the two larger men. "I should go."

"N-no, Felix, please." It was weak, but Dimitri reached out and took his hand, his eye soft and pleading. "Sylvain, I'll get you your usual order. Please go." Sylvain raised a hand to argue, but found he was outnumbered. He sighed and retreated back upstairs.

"Of course your roommate is him."

"I promise he isn't all bad." Dimitri tried to offer a consoling look, but Felix wanted none of it.

"If I never saw him again, it would still be too soon." He could only think of all of the times he would try to talk to Ingrid, ask about the ring she kept on her finger, he would take Mercedes' hands and would give them all such loving, knowing looks and --

"Felix?" Felix released his ironclad grip on the arm of the couch and flexed his fingers, shaking himself out of his stupor.

"Sorry. I hate him."

"I … I see that. If I had known, I would have taken you out to dinner." Dimitri placed his phone on the table between them. "I put the order in, we have half an hour. Is there anything you would like from me? Since you are always so helpful at the cafe." 

Felix took a steadying breath and met Dimitri's gaze. "What sort of things am I requesting here?" 

Dimitri blushed and moved onto the couch next to him. "I had been thinking, since you gave me such a lovely massage at the cafe, I could give you one in return." Dimitri failed to mention how the thought of Felix's hands kneading at his shoulders had been playing on the back of his eyelids every night for the past week, he could only hope to return the favor in kind. Felix shrugged and turned around, folding his legs in front of him. "Over the shirt …?" 

Felix pulled his turtleneck off in a clean motion, revealing the scarred, muscled expanse of his back to Dimitri. He bit into his lower lip to keep from saying anything stupid and got to work. "Hopefully I am half as good as you were."

"I'm only good 'cause Mercie taught all of us." Felix mentioned, leaning into Dimitri's careful touch. "You can rub harder, I'll be fine." Dimitri hesitated, pushing down on a knot with his thumb experimentally. Felix seemed to lean into the pressure, renewing some of Dimitri's confidence. 

"Are all of these from your martial arts classes?" Dimitri looked at the various bruises and scars decorating his back and Felix nodded, a small sigh escaping as he worked a knot on his shoulder. He continued along, travelling lower as he had more space to work with than Felix had at the cafe. "You're quite tense as well, Felix."

"I once beat the shit out of the man who walked down the stairs two minutes ago because he tried to come out to my coworker's car with her. Tense is putting it lightly." Felix sat straight as Dimitri's hand trailed down his spine, pushing at his body with a careful thumb, seeking out knots and circling them. Dimitri leaned in close, enough that Felix could feel his breath puffing hot on his back. 

"I'm sorry. I really had no idea." Dimitri sounded genuinely upset by the revelation. Felix was surprised the two had never talked about the fact that they both frequented a maid cafe to each other.

"Whatever." He leaned into Dimitri's touch, humming as he worked steadily on his back. "If I kill him, you'll know why."

"Please don't. The rent on this place would be unbearable if I had to pay for it myself." Felix snickered at that, Dimitri's hands traveling back to his shoulders as he leaned in. "I'm all done, otherwise my hands will fall off. Hopefully that was a fraction as good as yours was." Felix nodded, reaching for his shirt to put on while Dimitri's eyes traveled over his body. He was beautifully sculpted, contained in a sleek pale body that showed off his years of training in a way that made Dimitri forget how to talk. Felix pulled the turtleneck back over his head, pushing a few loose strands of hair back into place. 

"It wasn't half bad." Felix turned around and placed a leg on the coffee table, stretching his arms high in the air. "I take it you didn't just invite me here for Indian food and a massage." Dimitri looked confused, God this man was so dumb it was almost endearing.

"I just wanted to talk some place where you aren't bound by the Cafe's rules. And hopefully are a little more comfortable." Dimitri opened a drawer in the coffee table and pulled out a box of matches, striking one and bringing light into the dim room. He leaned over and lit a fat candle on the table and Felix's brows nearly reached his hairline.

"Prepping for a candlelit dinner?"

"Oh, I always light this candle. I haven't had a chance to replace the bulb above you, so it gets a little dark in here." Felix did not believe that for a second. He leaned back against the arm of the couch, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes at the other man. There was no way he was this dense. It had to be some elaborate ruse, some method he had for luring men into his home and romancing them. Dimitri got up, moving to his kitchen counter as Felix heard Dimitri mess around in his fridge.

"Anything to drink? I have a few nice bottles of wine, a couple IPAs, some scotch … any requests?" Felix got up to take a closer look at the selection. Dimitri had settled on a glass of red wine for himself, while Felix had grabbed some kitschy microbrew that had an interesting label. He popped the can and took a sip.

"And next you're going to throw rose petals on the ground and put on smooth jazz, right?" Dimitri's drink sloshed against the high walls of the glass as he laughed.

"No, that would be ridiculous!"

Felix wanted to explain that this whole situation was ridiculous, that no one just invited him over, paid for his favorite meal, gave him a full back massage, all while offering him beer and mood lighting. But everything Dimitri did seemed so sincere, so genuine. It was as if he had no idea he was romancing Felix. The two sat back on the couch together, so close their knees almost touched. Felix thought his entire body was on fire.

"I guess I'll tell you a little about myself, first. I'm Dimitri, as you know." He scratched at his face and took another sip of wine, staining where his lips parted a soft burgundy. Felix tried not to stare too hard. "I work at a large law firm, which has sort of absorbed all of my free time. I live with, apparently, Public Enemy Number One, who is usually the one who brings people over." He laughed at himself, eye darting to look away from Felix's gaze. "I enjoy what I do, I like reading, and writing, and the cool weather." Felix wanted to make fun of him so badly, but Goddess he so clearly meant every word he was saying. "What about you?"

Felix took in a long, slow breath, running his hands through his hair. "I'm Felix. I work with the city council as a civil engineer - I told you, real boring shit. I just field complaints and figure out what roads need fixing and shit like that." Dimitri's eye widened, leaning an elbow into his knees to get closer. 

"Really! I wouldn't call that boring."

Felix gave a snort. "I would. I don't have a roommate, but I have a cat. His name is Cat and he is an asshole but all cats are." Dimitri couldn't contain his smile, trying to cover it with the hand holding his glass of wine.

"Your cat's name is … Cat?"

"Yes. It is the perfect cat name and I will hear no criticism of it." Dimitri made no other comments, so he continued. "My job is boring, so I work at the Maid Cafe because Annette asked me and now I'm stuck with loyal customers and great money." Dimitri blushed at the admission, but did not interrupt. "I like martial arts. I like Cat. That's about it." He took a sip of his beer, eyes locking with Dimitri's. "How come you've only got one eye?"

Dimitri's hand flew to his patch, covered somewhat in blonde hair. "Oh, it was a sports accident. Took a hockey puck to the face and the doctors couldn't reconstruct the damage in time, so I settled for the patch. I got used to it pretty quickly, I hardly think about it now." He smiled, something of a soft, pensive look that made Felix feel a little bad for asking. He had always wondered, but it wasn't good to ask questions like that at the cafe. "How come your Maid's outfit is so much longer than the other ladies'?"

"I have a tattoo, which is not allowed. I also don't want my dick to hang out." Dimitri choked, coloring instantly. He shook himself a bit, trying to take his mind off the second part of the sentence.

"A tattoo? Of what?"

Felix moved a little closer on the couch, planting his leg between them and rolling his pant leg up to reveal a large wolf adorning his thigh, a sword held in its mouth. The piece was all black, detailed heavily in fur and shadows. "Wow," Dimitri mouthed, unable to stop himself as he reached down to touch the tattoo. "It's really lovely." Felix started to roll his pant leg back down, Dimitri's hand snapping back and going to his lap. "I only have, well. I have a little tattoo, given to me by a friend." He pulled his shirt down to reveal a fraction of the wide expanse of his chest. It was a date from over a decade ago. "For my parents."

"Oh." Felix's voice was soft, and he pulled up his shirt again, a date of his own tattooed on his ribs. "This is for, uh. My brother." The date was more recent, but still some time ago. Dimitri's eye looked so solemn and knowing as he let go of his shirt, moving closer. Their knees touched now, but Felix didn't notice.

"They were on a plane together. I had been home, and found out later."

"Oh." Felix said, quieter this time. "My brother served in the military and was killed." He tried not to sound angry. "That's just how things go."

"It is." Dimitri's hand was on the numbers, his touch warm on Felix's side. Felix wanted to believe this was maybe what heaven looked like; a beautiful, wide shouldered blonde man feeling his side and looking at him like he was all that mattered in the world. Of course, heaven had just ordered Indian food, and the damn door bell rang with the promise of spicy food. Dimitri got up and made his way to the door, grabbing the food and thanking the delivery person. He set it up on the coffee table in front of them, handing Felix his meal and a plastic fork. "Well, dig in." 

Felix didn't need Dimitri's permission to go to town on his food, pouring the bright orange sauce and chicken over the rice container given to him. Sylvain reappeared, approaching carefully to dig around for his dinner. "Don't mind me, I gotta eat too." Felix kept his eyes to himself, Sylvain grabbing his Tikka Masala and leaning in to whisper something in Dimitri's ear. Dimitri colored and shooed the other man away, burying his face in his own food. Felix took the free time to pull out his phone, spotting a text from Annette.

[❤️BFF ANNIE❤️]: did you kiss him yet???  
[⚔️😤 Felix 😤⚔️]: no.  
[❤️BFF ANNIE❤️]: wtf are you waiting for?????  
[⚔️😤 Felix 😤⚔️]: a fiery comet to strike down and kill me instantly so I don't have to think about kissing him. shut up  
[❤️BFF ANNIE❤️]: you shut up!!!!! if you don't come into work with like a million kisses I am going to lose my shit

Felix grumbled and shoved his phone back in his pocket. She was never helpful in situations like this. Dimitri looked at him with a curious expression, mouth full of Sag Paneer. "Just one of the women I work with at the cafe. Wanted to make sure I was okay." Dimitri smiled and swirled his fork in his food.

"That is very sweet of her. They seem very fond of you there." 

Felix leaned back, taking a bite out of a piece of chicken. The familiar punch of spices attacked his nose and throat, making his shoulders relax. "Too fond. They all treat me like their little brother." Dimitri reached a fork over, asking for a bite. Felix rose a brow. "I order the spiciest food they let me, watch out." Dimitri just smiled and took a small forkful.

"Oh, I haven't been able to taste anything in years." He took a bite, smiling and going back to his own food. Felix looked at Dimitri like he had three heads, looking from his own food to the other container.

"If you can't taste, why take my food?" He reached in and took a forkful of Dimitri's food, figuring he wouldn't miss it. Dimitri seemed to think about what he had said and shook his head at his own foolishness.

"That's … that's a good point, huh." He laughed at himself, placing the food back on the table and shaking his head. "I never really thought about it like that. I guess I just like to see if I can taste it, just in case I am missing something."

"Could you?"

"I know it was hot! That much I can tell. I can't quite pick up on anything else though." Felix kept at his food, putting a lot of puzzle pieces together he had never realized before. Dimitri always ate the food in front of him at the cafe, but never asked for anything different or commented on his coffee or cookies. He frequently would offer Felix a cookie, even though Felix hated sweets. He probably didn't even attribute cookies as a sweet food. 

"What did Sylvain say?"

"Oh, some incorrigible things that should not be repeated in good company." Felix's eyes narrowed up at the stairs, his gaze hard. The last thing he needed was for that monumental douchebag to say some gross shit about him. 

"Pay him no mind, he knows he is not allowed down here for the remainder of the evening. I do not bother him on his escapades, he can leave me alone while I enjoy a nice evening in." Felix noted that Dimitri did not refer to their dinner as an escapade and felt a mix of relief and a pang of wanting. He wasn't sure he was ready to admit that he had some sense of desire for the other man, but the feelings still sat in the base of his stomach, mixing with his dinner. "What was your coworker trying to say? Something equally scandalous?"

"Close to it." Dimitri laughed, placing a hand on Felix's knee.

"I swear, they all have no faith." He shook his head, looking out at the flickering candle in front of them. "Everything has to be a drama to them." 

Felix folded his arms behind his head. "To be fair, you invited a maid from a maid cafe to your house and bought said maid dinner." Dimitri shrugged, as if that was a normal thing that people did. Felix swallowed his pride, realizing this man was too stupid to understand what he had gotten himself into. "Did you really - well. How did you think the night would end?" 

"A pleasant conversation, maybe some cards, a board game-" The sound of Felix's hand hitting his face could have broken the sound barrier. "What?" Dimitri, bless his dumb little heart, really was clueless.

"To every other human on the planet, this looks like a date." Dimitri tried to say something, but words failed him. Felix continued. "That is what I thought this was. Luckily, I have had enough cafe visits with you to know that you have the romantic ability of a rock, along with being half as bright as one." Dimitri frowned, not appreciating the harsh words. Oh well, he should have been used to it by now. "If you are leading me on, say so now. So I don't get my hopes up." Felix didn't want to admit he had hopes in the first place, and that he knew this would happen.

"What should I say, then?" Felix planted both hands on Dimitri's knees and leaned in close.

"Tell me why you told me to come here. Actually tell me."

Dimitri's mouth went dry, his heart thumping loud at the closeness the two shared. "Well … I am very fond of you. I want to get to know you better. Does that work?" His voice was small, soft, as if he hadn't admitted the words aloud to anyone, even himself. Felix released him and leaned back, feeling all the devils of insecurity leave his body. "Why did you come then, Felix?"

"One, if I didn't, Annette would have never let me live it down." Dimitri's brow furrowed, but Felix went on. "Two, I have been pining over you since you started coming in and if I passed this opportunity up, whether you had romantic intentions or not, I never would've forgiven myself." Dimitri's eye widened in shock.

"Felix … I had no idea." He had a hand now on Felix's leg, rubbing it gently.

"I know." Felix's words were short, but they held no malice. "I'm not used to being the one who has to pick up on subtext." Dimitri leaned in, resting his head on Felix's shoulder. Felix pet his head and begged his body not to explode into a million tiny pieces.

"You … you really like me?" Felix nodded, gently wrapping a hand around his back. 

"Yeah." His voice was quiet, barely audible to himself. 

"I think you're so beautiful." Dimitri's voice was quiet too, almost a whisper. "I couldn't believe you agreed to come see me." The hand in Dimitri's hair tightened a little, holding him close. Hearing those words made his heart stop, Dimitri's hand free hand reaching up to hold him on his side, thumb stroking idly at the tattoo hidden under his shirt. 

"Well." His breath was hot on Dimitri's ear, making him shiver. "Now what do we do." In that moment, the strength behind his words betrayed just how small he felt. Felix held the other man close, the blood rushing so loud he could hear it pounding in his ears.

"We have already uncovered I am completely new to this whole scenario. I don't think I can make a decision on what we do next." He rolled his head to make eye contact, his face a familiar shade of pink. "What do you think, Felix? Anything on your mind?"

Felix didn't really know what he was doing either. He had hiked up Dimitri's shirt enough to scratch at his back, making his breath catch. "Annette has been telling me to kiss you or she is going to kill me. I believe her exact expression was 'about a million' kisses." He licked his lips and tried to hide his embarrassment, Dimitri leaning up at pressing a chaste peck on his lips.

"Well we better get started then, shouldn't we?"

Felix's grip on the back of Dimitri's head tightened as he pulled him in for a more serious kiss, feeling Dimitri go lax in his grip. It was like the world had stopped, heard every prayer he had made alone at night, and gave him one single, positive moment to live in for an eternity. Dimitri's lips were rough and cracked, much like his own, but Felix didn't care. Dimitri's grip tightened on his side and he gasped, surprised by the other man's grip. When Dimitri was being gentle during the massage, Felix had no idea just how much he was holding back. If he held him any tighter, Felix thought he might snap a rib. Dimitri pulled back a bit, lips reddened and his pupil wide.

"I can't believe this is really happening."

"Stop talking, otherwise it's happening less." Felix dove back in for another kiss, slipping out his hair tie and dropping it behind them. Dimitri's hair fell around his face, hanging an inch or two above his shoulders. Dimitri reached up and did the same, Felix's hair cascading around his face and neck. Dimitri stopped and stared, brushing a strand from his face.

"You really are just. Wow." Dimitri had no words for Felix, his lips spit slicked and his hair framing his face so beautifully. Felix leaned in and pressed a kiss on his neck, relishing the gasp that followed.

"You too. Drives me crazy." Felix couldn't make himself give a proper compliment, it just didn't want to come out of his mouth properly. Dimitri just smiled at him, such a knowing and cheeky smile, it made Felix forget how to breathe.

"How many more until we hit a million?"

"I'm not going to keep count, idiot." Felix gave a short laugh, Dimitri cutting it off with another kiss, pulling him back so they could lay back instead of bending Felix back over the arm of the couch. Felix's fingers pulled at the edges of his shirt, his eyes searching Dimitri's for what to do next. 

"What time do you have to be home?"

"I can call in sick."

"Oh." Dimitri was holding himself up over him, shirt hiked above his navel with his hands gripping onto Felix's body for dear life. "I probably do not have that luxury. But I am more than willing to keep you company for as long as you'll let me."

Felix rolled his eyes and pulled Dimitri back in close. "Stop talking." He kissed him hard, sucking in on Dimitri's lower lip and running his teeth along it. Dimitri's whole body responded with a satisfied shudder, now laying flush against the man underneath him. "Tell me what you want."

"I thought you told me to stop talking." Felix growled and nipped at his lip, causing Dimitri to let out a yelp. "I-I don't know, I'm flying blind here." He pressed himself up onto his forearms, looking at Felix laying on his couch, hair surrounding his head in a navy halo. "I really just want to take all of you in." His hands slid from Felix's stomach to his chest, his lashes fluttering from the touch. 

"Speak english. Just tell me if I need to get naked." Dimitri buried his head in Felix's shoulders and tried to dial his brain to the correct frequency for a few moments. He settled on a very nervous sounding laugh, breathy from kissing.

"I don't have a good answer for that! Should. Should I get naked then? Is that what you want?" Dimitri had sat up, hands at his top buttons as he straddled Felix's waist. Felix sighed and leaned forwards, pushing a hand through his hair. 

"It is what I want. But you need to figure out what you want first." Felix pressed a soft kiss against an exposed collarbone, Dimitri gasping as a hand slipped in and felt along his chest. "I cannot believe how in shape you are and you don't do anything." Felix ran a thumb along the sculpted muscles on the front of Dimitri's chest as he fumbled with the remaining buttons of his shirt.

"That's just me, I guess. The constant stress keeps me in shape." He tried to laugh, but Felix had grabbed a nipple and tweaked it, causing him to let out a broken gasp. "W-what was that for?"

"For being stupid." Felix was also curious just what made the other man tick: he had served him coffee and cookies three times a week now for a couple months, and now he was finally getting his chance to explore him properly. He pushed Dimitri onto his back, changing positions. "Please tell me you know what you're doing." Dimitri's hands covered his face as he nodded.

"Yes, I have some concept of what needs to happen next."

"Good. Then shut up." Felix pushed the shirt open and drank in the view: Dimitri had some scars of his own across his torso, old and faded by time. Nothing quite as fresh as what Felix was decorated in. He leaned forward and kissed a slow line down his chest, ending at his belt and glancing up at him, long lashes hiding most of his gaze. Dimitri reached a hand down and gently carded it through Felix's hair, gripping and giving a curious tug. Felix let his head lull back and sighed, Dimitri looking enraptured by the scene in front of him. His second hand was fumbling with his belt, unbuckling it and letting it hang loose around his waist. Felix unbuttoned his jeans and slid a finger down the zipper, ghosting along the other man's boxer briefs and and feeling the grip in his hair tighten significantly.

"Am I allowed to share something rather inappropriate?" Dimitri started, his voice a few notches lower than it had been previously.

"I wish you wouldn't, but something tells me you're going to say it anyway."

"I wish you were in the outfit." Dimitri's face was bright red, but he looked less embarrassed than Felix would have expected by the brazen admission. Felix drummed his fingers on the crotch of Dimitri's pants, frowning up at him.

"Of course you do, Master." Dimitri yanked on impulse, Felix's neck snapping back as he let out a shaky moan. Seeing his neck bend back in such a beautiful way made Dimitri want to get up and hold him close, but something told him Felix had other plans in mind. His hands went to Dimitri's waist, coaxing his hips up just enough to slide his jeans down and reveal tented boxer briefs. Felix palmed him through the boxer briefs, Dimitri moaning and wriggling for more purchase under his touch. "Tell me what you want, Master."

Dimitri pulled Felix in closer by his hair, feeling his breath hot against him. Felix nodded knowingly, so smart and so perceptive, and pressed his mouth against Dimitri's boxers. He groaned at the half-contact, bucking up for more, anything more. Felix's hands were now at the waistband of his boxers and Dimitri swore this was what he was going to see when he died: Felix, hair mussed and lips red, pressing gentle kisses along his clothed erection. He let out a sharp breath as Felix pulled the boxers off, his cock hard and pooling precum onto his stomach. Felix wrapped a hand around him and licked a stripe from base to tip, giving him a wiggle.

"Saints, you're hung like a fucking horse."

"Ah--haha, I'm sorry? Is that the right thing to say?"

"Right, I forgot. You can't talk." His mouth enveloped Dimitri and he found that Felix was correct in this assertion: he in fact could not talk. He was reduced to grunts and noises of approval as Felix blew him with astonishing skill. He moved quickly and efficiently, tongue following along as he went. Dimitri was seeing stars in moments, tugging back a few times to warn Felix of his soon to be release. Felix responded to this by rubbing a thumb along the vein running along his underside and swirling his tongue at the tip, and that was more than enough for Dimitri to cry out, emptying himself in Felix's mouth. He pulled back and wiped the back of his hand across his lips, looking half starved and lustful.

"Why in the world have we just been playing cards together, when we could have been doing this?" Dimitri sat up and pulled a napkin from the takeout bag, wiping himself as he pulled his pants and boxers back up.

"We're both idiots, I guess." He took a swig of his beer and licked in between one of his teeth, a hand absently rubbing at himself. Dimitri started, putting a hand over Felix's. 

"Do you want a little help?" Felix nodded and threw his arms around him for another kiss, Dimitri now fumbling to pull off Felix's pants. He was hard, impossibly hard, but Dimitri's firm grip made him melt. His noises were sharp and high pitched, hidden in the crook of Dimitri's shoulder as he worked him along. 

"Pull my shirt up." Dimitri nodded and slid the shirt up to Felix's chest, tweaking an exposed nipple in retaliation. Felix moaned against him, shuddering at the touch. Dimitri rubbed circles around it as he jerked Felix off, feeling teeth sink into his shoulder as Felix finished across their chests. Felix pulled back and weakly hit Dimitri's hand away, fishing around for another napkin. Dimitri grabbed another as well to now wipe his seed-coated hand. 

"So, well. Now what?"

"I can't answer that for you." Felix brushed himself off and fished around for his hair tie, putting his hair back up and grabbing a piece of chicken with his hands, popping it into his mouth. "I would like to keep doing this."

"Oh, of course. Can I still come to the cafe?"

Felix wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, I just can't blow you there. Gotta follow Mercedes' rules." Dimitri nodded, putting a hand on his thigh and looking back into his eyes.

"Does this make us boyfriends?" 

Felix made a face, stunned that he could be so attracted to such a massively dumb idiot. "As long as you want to be, I have no problem with that. You clearly need someone with more sense to make sure you don't trip over yourself, or accidentally seduce someone you were just going to play Go Fish with." Dimitri only laughed, throwing his arms around Felix and hugging him close. Felix fell into the hug, an imperceptible smile tugging at his lips.

"Do you actually have the outfit, though?"

"No, I leave that at the Cafe so it can be dry cleaned." Dimitri frowned and pushed hair from his face.

"If I purchased one for you, would you wear it?" Felix put a hand on Dimitri's face and pushed him, getting up and taking his takeout container with him. 

"Fuck you, I'm leaving. Thanks for the food and the hand job, I'll text you."

With that, Felix left his house and Dimitri was left staring at his door, wondering how the hell he managed to pull any of that off. He could only hope that meant more time spent with one another. Dimitri looked at his phone, abandoned on the coffee table, with multiple missed texts from Sylvain.

[Sylvain]: DUDE YOU FUCKING  
[Sylvain]: YELLED  
[Sylvain]: What the fuck were you even doing???? It sounded like you were killing a bear  
[Dimitri]: I have a boyfriend now 🥰  
[Sylvain]: sick but are we going to address your fucking bloody animal warcry? we just gonna pretend I never heard that???  
[Dimitri]: Oh did I do that? Sorry syl, hopefully I didn't wake you up!  
[Sylvain]: you probably woke up the entire neighborhood and signalled to a momma bear in heat that you are available and dtf but like whatever I guess grats on the nuptials  
[Dimitri]: thanks!! It's Felix!!  
[Sylvain]: uh huh bud I could have guessed that, but thank you for sharing, go upstairs and sleep you big horny animal

Dimitri couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he went upstairs, deciding to send out a final text to his new boyfriend. 

[Dimitri]: I hope you have a safe drive home! I had a wonderful time and I'll see you soon!! ❤️

Felix didn't see the text until he got home, entering his dark apartment to Cat complaining for food. He dumped some dry food in her bowl and collapsed on his bed, looking at his phone screen.

[Felix]: yeah I'm home. I'll see you when you come in next  
[Felix]: master ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the new DLC outfits! Felix in a maid costume and Dimitri being a dumb but lovable man. If you like this, go follow and talk to me on Twitter @danivonfemblem !!


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